If Things Were Different
by WouldBeExorcist
Summary: If Alma Karma was still alive...If he hadn't been sliced to pieces years ago... If he had become an exorcist alongside Yu Kanda...What if?
1. Enter Allen

AN: My second fanfiction! I love Alma, and now I get really sad reading book 20-23. A few days ago I actually got teary staring at a bottle of mayonnaise (Alma's favourite food). No joke -_-. I kept listening to Ed Sheeran when writing this (particularly Small Bump). I always find Kanda's past heartbreaking. He really deserved better. This is the better life I imagined for him, the one he deserved with Alma.  
Disclaimer: D. Gray-man belongs to Katsura Hoshino. I own nothing.

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Allen finally heaved himself over the final ledge of the monumental mountain. Panting heavily, he lay down on the ground in relief. After recovering his strength he sat up, saying to himself, "I finally...finally made it...the exorcist headquarters...the Black Order."  
The ominous-looking tower loomed over him, the full moon shining down on the mountain and bat-like golems fluttering in the air.  
"I hope?" Allen said nervously.  
Making his way slowly up the path leading up to the front doors, he looked around for someone he could ask for assistance. After a few moments, he noticed a golem slightly above him, staring intently at him. Allen got the feeling someone was watching him through it. He cleared his throat.  
"E-Excuse me? My name is Allen Walker. I'm here by referral of General Cross. Could I talk to someone in charge, please?"  
For a moment, the golem said nothing. Then it answered:  
"Get a physical from the gatekeeper behind you."  
The huge grey face placed on the doors of the tower suddenly loomed over Allen, its eyes popping out at him. They became like spotlights, blinding Allen until his eyes adjusted.  
"HE'S OUT!" bellowed the gate-keeper. "Out, out! The pentacle on his face is the mark of the akuma! He's here to kill us!"  
Allen yelped, waving his arms. "No, wait, I'm not an akuma!"  
Suddenly, he felt someone behind him. "You must be pretty confident, coming here by yourself. Oh well, suit yourself. I haven't been on a mission in a while."  
Allen jumped away, spinning to face the person behind him. He was wearing what must be an exorcist's uniform, black with silver shoulder-pads and buttons, and the rose cross emblazoned on the left side of the chest. Where his right hand should have been, there were two sharp-looking blades, like the heads of scythes, except they were moving like serpents, or the two claws of a dinosaur. He had spiky hair, and a scar ran across the bridge of his nose.  
The young man in front of him laughed. "You picked a really bad day to attack. If you had arrived a few days earlier or later then you wouldn't have had us to deal with."  
With that statement, Allen realised that there was another exorcist bearing down on him. He quickly activated his arm, lifting it above him in an effort to shield himself. A sharp pain slicing through his wrist, he leapt away to see his new attacker.  
Kanda drew himself up to his full height, staring down the white-haired boy. He would pay for interrupting his dinner.  
Allen felt the other boy behind him, and the sharp blade of one of the scythes nudged Allen's Adam's apple.  
"You should probably get it over with," the other exorcist said, "he's going to give you a pretty violent death whether you fight or not."  
Allen realised that the two people really intended to kill him. He screamed as the swordsman started running towards him, his sword ready to strike.  
"W-Wait! I swear, I'm not an akuma! I'm an exorcist! There should have been a letter sent by my master, Cross!"  
Mugen stopped within centimetres of Allen's neck.  
"A letter. From the general," Kanda said sceptically.  
"Yeah," said Allen, afraid to swallow in case his neck was cut.  
"General Cross hasn't sent the order anything but bills for several years," the boy behind Allen said uneasily.

"I-It was addressed to someone named Komui."  
Alma groaned. Groans could be heard from the golem as well.  
Nobody moved for a few moments, then a voice from the golem said, "Oh well, the kid checks out. He's Cross's apprentice. Go stop those two, Reever."  
"Clean your desk once in a while, would you?!" an Australian voice yelled at the other. "Kanda, Alma, I need you to stand down! I repeat, stand down."  
The boy behind Allen carefully withdrew his scythe from Allen's neck, deactivating it so that it became a normal right arm.  
"Sorry about that," he said, smiling. "Can't be too careful , you know? I'm Alma. Alma Karma." He extended his hand to Allen.  
Smiling back, Allen took Alma's hand and shook it.  
"Don't worry about it. It's nice to meet you."  
Alma looked up at the gate keeper, who was still crying. "But why did he think you were an akuma? That doesn't usually happen..."  
"It's probably because of this," said Allen, lifting his hair to show the pentacle on his forehead. "I was cursed five years ago by an akuma. It gave me this scar."  
Allen turned and offered his hand to Kanda. "No hard feelings?"  
Kanda snorted. "What idiot would shake your hand knowing that you were cursed."  
"Hey! I'm not an idiot!" Alma protested.  
"Yeah, but he only had the decency to tell us about that after you shook, stupid."  
Alma pouted. "Stop being rude, Yu. Give the kid a break and shake his hand. You owe him after hurting his arm."  
Allen looked down at his arm, which he had now deactivated. A long white mark ran across it, and he couldn't stop it from trembling.  
The huge gates of the tower suddenly swung slowly open, and a young girl with two long pigtails came out.  
"Get in already, you guys!" she called out.  
The doors swung closed behind them as Allen entered the Black Order.  
"I'm Lenalee. I'm one of the exorcists here. Though I also help out around the Science Division. You've already met Kanda and Alma, right?"  
Alma waved goodbye to the two. "We might go now, Lenalee. You can take care of the kid, right?"  
"Sure, Alma. I'll show him around and take him to Komui after," said Lenalee, smiling.  
"See you!" Alma turned and started walking up the stairs to the dorms with Kanda.


	2. Dreams

AN: I actually wrote this one before the first chapter,when I was bored and had nothing to do. Oh Alma T_T I seem to have a habit of doing the first two chapters quickly and then continuing really slowly after that... Oh well.  
Disclaimer: Katsura Hoshino owns my soul. Along with Steven Moffat. Oh yeah, and she owns D. Gray-man. And the characters. And a TARDIS. Why can't I do a serious disclaimer...?

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"Yu?  
Are you awake?" Alma slowly stuck his head through the doorway, trying to  
see into the blackness.  
"Of course. What's the point of trying to sleep when you're going to barge  
in every night?"  
Alma chuckled, slowly feeling his way into the room. His eyes adjusted, and he  
could now make out Kanda's shadowy form sitting on the bed, still fully  
clothed.  
He eased himself carefully onto the bed next to his friend, not wanting to  
knock his shin on the railing like he usually did.  
Kanda put his arm around his best friend's shoulders and pulled him into a hug.  
Alma knew Kanda would never hug anyone else like this, not Lenalee, not Lavi,  
not anyone but him. He loved the feeling of being special to someone like  
Kanda, privileged, and having Kanda exclusively in this manner. For him.  
"What was it this time?" Kanda asked gently.  
Alma said nothing.  
Frustrated, Kanda started noogying him.  
"Ow, ow, ow! Stop! Stop it, Yu!" Alma laughed.  
Smirking, Kanda let go. Alma returned to his previous position, serious once  
more, his mirthful expression fading.  
"I saw you, Yu. You were bleeding, dying, and you weren't healing. You  
were like... A normal human, I guess. And I couldn't do a thing about it.  
Everyone else, too, but they were already dead. You were just suffering, and in  
so much pain that I couldn't stand it. I wanted to die. I wanted you to die.  
Just so that you would be free from that horrible pain."  
Kanda fell silent, processing his friend's nightmare. Poor Alma had been  
subjected to horrific nightmares for weeks, even going to the infirmary at one  
point to see if there was anything that could be done about it. The pills he  
had been given, ones made for dreamless sleep, hadn't kept the nightmares at  
bay at all, and he gave up on them. Instead, he went straight to Kanda's room,  
right next to his own, whenever he woke up from a nightmare and felt too  
terrified to go back to sleep.  
"Idiot." Kanda ruffled Alma's head, bringing his friend back to  
reality. "What a stupid, unrealistic dream to keep me awake for. For one  
thing, there's no way that could happen. There's no way I'm gonna die before  
you. You're so much of a hassle that I wouldn't be able to rest in peace. I'd  
open up my coffin and throttle you so you would stop blubbering. I don't want  
you keeping me awake when I'm in the grave."  
Alma laughed, touched at how much his friend cared about him. Because that rude  
language, the speech that he had just been given, just went to show Kanda's  
love for his oldest friend.  
"Promise me, Yu."  
"What? To throttle you?"  
"I'm serious, Yu." Alma stared at Kanda, wanting Kanda to realise the  
importance of what he was about to say. "Promise me you'll do as Komui  
said and don't overestimate how much life you have left. Don't overdo it. Only  
use Sangenshiki and your other life-draining abilities unless absolutely  
necessary. Unless you're going to die without it. Please, Yu. I don't want to  
cry over your coffin either."  
Kanda stared back at his friend, before answering.  
"I promise, Alma."  
His friend finally smiled in relief.  
They went on to talk about everything and nothing, about the new kid, Allen,  
about how Jiji had kissed Kanda full on the mouth once when drunk, years ago  
(much to the latter's disgust), about why Komui was so overprotective of  
Lenalee. Finally, Alma yawned, needing sleep badly.  
"You should go to bed," Kanda said, looking at his watch, "it's  
nearly one in the morning."  
"OK..." Alma murmured drowsily, tottering towards the door, then:  
"Um, Yu? Could you... Tuck me in? I still hate going to sleep alone,"  
Alma said, blushing.  
Kanda grumbled. "Oh, for crying out loud. You are such a baby."  
Getting up, he followed Alma into the room next door. Alma jumped into bed,  
curling up under the covers like a kitten, smiling angelically at Kanda.  
Kanda started to leave, turning the light off, when his friend grabbed his  
sleeve, just like a small child.  
"Stay. Just until I fall asleep," Alma pleaded.  
Kanda sighed. "Alright, you big baby. I'll stay here so the nightmares get  
scared and run home to their mothers. They can have nightmares about me for a change."  
he say down next to the bed, his friend giggling.  
After a little while, Alma's eyelids drooped closed, and his breathing became  
deeper. Kanda stood up, gazing down at his naive, silly, childish, amazing  
childhood friend. He never mentioned the dreams he had sometimes, almost  
exactly like Alma's but with the situations reversed. He would keep them to  
himself, so that Alma could sleep in sweet ignorance.  
He stroked Alma's hair, before finally walking out of the room and closing the  
door behind him.  
"Sweet dreams, Alma."


End file.
